Stress Relaxation Techniques

We all live through stress, some more than others.  There are many things that cause stress in our lives:

• Losing your job
• Death
• Divorce
• Marriage
• Pregnancy
• Buying a house
• Christmas

This list is by no means exhaustive – something that may be stressful for you, may not be stressful for someone else.  For example, I’m a workaholic and when I’m at work even though I’m stressed out, I can deal with it.  Put me on vacation and I’m stressed to the point that I can’t handle it.  I need something to do.

The list is endless of what causes stress in our lives.  But learning to deal with stress, and finding good stress relaxation techniques will help you cope with the day-to-day events that lead to stress.

Some people are also more vulnerable to stress than others.  For example your personality type plays a role in reaction to stress.  People who drive themselves hard and are impatient (sometimes called Type A personalities) may be more at risk for stress-related physical problems.  Certain occupations, such as law enforcement or air traffic control, are clearly more stressful than others. In addition, people with a personal or family history of mental illness may be affected more by stress.

How can you tell you are stressed out?

There are some simple signs that can point to stress:

These are all signs of stress.

Now that we’ve scared you – how can we care and find stress relaxation techniques?

TARP Method to Dealing with Stress

TARP or TUNE IN, ANALYZE, RESPOND and PREVENT is one technique to deal with stress.  There are several other methods, I’ll share this one today and one that I use that I’ve found great success with.

When we’re talking about the TARP method, what we want to do is:

• T is for “Tune in” – Get into the habit of noticing early signs of stress.
• A is for “Analyze” – Think about the source or causes of your stress.
• R is for “Respond” – Deal with the cause of your stress, and its effects on you.
• P is for “Prevent” – Develop good stress-reduction habits for a healthier lifestyle.

What does tuning in mean?  Simple – this is coming to the realization that you have stress.  This is noticing the body aches, and pains – some of the tell tale physical signs that you are stressed.  Another common body pain is griding teeth or a sore jaw from grinding your teeth or clenching your jaw.  Once you’ve identified that you have stress – 25% of the job is done and you are on your way to relieve the stress.

Next is to analyze what is causing the stress so that you can better deal with it.  Stressors are internal, and external.

External stressors are things and events outside your body that can make you feel threatened or out of control. For example:

• Physical irritants like noise, pollution, heat, or humidity
• Work demands or conditions
• Frightening events, like narrowly escaping a traffic accident
• Social or family demands, changes, or problems

Internal stressors result from one’s own attitudes and thinking patterns. For example:

• Do you always talk to yourself with words like “should, must, and ought?”
• Do you feel like a failure if you are late, or if things don’t go as planned?
• Do you have “me last” syndrome, feeling you have to look after everyone else’s needs before you think of your own?
• Do you feel worthless unless everyone likes you all the time?
• Are you guilty of “awful-izing,” which means always expecting the worst? For example, if family members are late, do you often imagine they are injured or dead?

One way to identify the stressors in your life is to keep a diary of your days events.  This will help you identify what is stressing you out, what the trigger is and how your body is reacting to the stress.  You cannot always remove the stress from your life (try removing kids from the equation – can’t do that!) but you can learn to find effective strategies and techniques to deal with it.

When we talk about responding to stress, we’re talking about things you can do quickly and easily.  These include breathing – taking deep breaths to let oxygen into your body and flow through it.  It allows you to clear your mind and to “take a breather”.

Why not take a time out?  If you can, this will help melt the stress.  Simple time out techniques are:

• Stop the activity (or the conversation) that was causing you stress.
• If you can move away, go to another room, or go for a short walk.
• If you can’t move away, count to 10 silently before you speak again.

We teach our kids about time outs, we are the ones that should in fact be using them.

One technique which helps me significantly is muscle relaxation techniques to reduce stress.

• Lie on the floor or on a firm bed, or sit in a chair that has good head support.
• Close your eyes and breathe deeply two or three times.
• Next, tighten up the muscles of different parts of your body in turn; keep them tight while you count silently to five; then let go and imagine the tension going out as you relax and smooth the muscles.
• Start with your face. Squint your eyes, tighten your teeth and jaw, and wrinkle your forehead. Feel the tension while you count silently to five, and then let go of it. Feel the warmth of relaxation coming to your face.
• Next, pull your shoulders up until they nearly touch your ears. Feel the tension while you count silently to five. Then let go.
• Now progress through the rest of your body, tightening muscles while you count slowly to five, then letting the tension go. Start with your stomach and chest muscles, then your lower abdomen, buttocks, and thighs. Finish with your lower legs, curling up your toes and tightening calf muscles to feel the tension in your foot, ankle, calves, and knee.
• When you have finished, notice the tension and release in all your muscles. Breathe deeply a few times, and feel relaxed, refreshed, and comfortable.

I feel relaxed already from the stress of describing how to deal with stress!

Another technique that I use that helps me, and that I can use throughout the day is listening to music.  But not just any music.  I find that the sound of nature helps me relax so my iPod is loaded with several different nature sounds that I repeat quietly in the background:

• Sound of waves hitting rocks
• Sound of waterfalls
• Sound of rain
• Tropical paradise sounds – birds etc.,

I’ve found that this really helps me unwind either at work, or when I’m getting ready to sleep at night.

Finally the last point is prevent.  Yes this is very hard and you may not be able to prevent the stress but what you will be able to do is use the stress relaxation techniques to help you better deal with the stress.

The best way to prevent the stress, is to not have stress – but since that’s not possible you need to use stress relaxation techniques:

• Relaxation or time for yourself
• Regular exercise will help relieve stress and help you better manage it
• Eating right – junk food will not help you combat stress
• Avoid chemicals – that is drugs, and alcohol – it will only make matters worse and may actually work to increase the level of stress you are having to deal with
• Don’t smoke – smoking has its own list of health problems
• Caffeine – another “chemical” to deal with stress, once you’re off the high, what next?

Hopefully making use of the TARP method and a few of the stress relaxation techniques mentioned here will help you deal with stress and keep it under control.

If you have a favorite stress relaxation technique, feel free to share it with us here!

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